Chapter Text
Tsuna's favorite day of the week is Sunday. There are many reasons for this.
One, Sunday signifies the end of a long, grueling week of working full-time at a restaurant. Tsuna swears that God purposely gave him the one job he sucks at. Working around hot water and breakable plates? He probably gets more fines than bills paid.
Two, nothing important/terrifying/embarrassingeverhas happened on a Sunday. The day that chihuahua chased him down the street? Tuesday. The day that Tsuna set the record for most broken china? Saturday.
Sowhyis this happening to him?
Tsuna stares silently at the fedora-wearing baby whose beady eyes are staring right back at him.Who, in this day and age, wears a suit like, like some kind of Westerner?he wonders, looking down at his own simple yukata. "W-who are you?" Tsuna says. "Are you lost?"
"I'm right where I need to be. You are Sawada Tsunayoshi, correct?" the baby responds.
How does he know my name?Tsuna internally screams.
"Your father told me."
And he can read minds?
"No, you're just extremely open," the baby tells him with a smirk. Tsuna's pretty sure that the baby isn't just a baby, though. The unholy gleam in his (its?) eyes is terrifying, even on chubby features. Suddenly, a pink blob comes out of nowhere. He takes a step back in surprise. It kind of looks like jello and- holy sh*t, it has eyes.Wait a second,Tsuna thinks, feeling extremely stupid,that's a Ditto.
"You have a bond with a Pokemon at such a young age?" Tsuna asks in surprise. He had been eight when he bonded with his own Pokemon, andthatwas considered early. This only reaffirms his suspicion that there is something weird going on.
"I'm not as young as I look," the baby (what's his name?) says mysteriously.
"O-kay, then," he says, a little creeped out. "I'm just going to close the door and pretend this never happ- WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN."
"The better to shoot you with, m'dear." And if that's not weird then Tsuna's going to scream about the injustice of it all. The gun blinks as Ditto's features merge on the metal.Oh,Tsuna thinks faintly.His Ditto can turn into a weapon. Why not?Tsuna then hears pattering footsteps from behind and turns around to see Eevee peek in.
"EEVEE," he whisper-screams. "HELP ME."
"My name's Reborn, by the way," the intruder on his front step says conversationally.
"EEVEE, VEE," Eevee whisper-screams back.
They understand each othersowell. But it's kind of sad how alike they are; they've even got the same levels of uselessness.
"Ditto!" the pink gun a.k.a. Ditto inserts randomly.
"...I thought Japanese people were supposed to be polite," says Reborn, looking a bit irritated. "Aren't you going to invite me inside?"
"Why would I do that, you creepy little baby who probably doesn't have a soul?" Tsuna snipes. Probably not a good idea when the target of his sass has a gun, but oh well.
"Tsu-kun? What's the matter?" To make things worse, his own mother, Nana, walks in. Her Cottonee is trailing behind her, letting out puffs of fluff that would definitely be a pain to clean up later. "Oh, is this baby lost?"
"Mom, I don't think you should-"
Reborn, who, as Tsuna is quickly learning, is a little sh*t, flips his entire personality as he bats eyelashes and says sweetly, "Yes, I am. But your son wouldn't help me at all. H-he's so mean!"
"Tsu-kun!" Nana scolds. She puts her hands on her hips and stares down at Tsuna, disappointment clear in her brown eyes. "How could you pick on such an adorable child?"
"BUT HE ISN'T," Tsuna wails, Eevee shrieking right besides him. Even Cottonee looks a little apprehensive, her golden seed-like eyes narrowing just a little. They turn into little slits when Reborn's Ditto reemerges from somewhere and sticks out a tongue.
"Oh, nonsense. Come inside, you can have some of Mama's sugar cookies." Reborn shoots Tsuna a triumphant look. Not that he notices, Tsuna is too busy drowning in misery.
"He's probably in some kind of crime syndicate," Tsuna mutters as he eventually stands up to go to his room. Eevee nods, jumping up to settle in his hair. "Don't do that," he reprimands weakly.
It's a Sunday,Tsuna thinks, trying to resist the urge to tear out his hair.These are supposed to begooddays.
Meanwhile, Lady Fate is swinging around Heaven with a whiskey bottle in her hand. Whooping loudly, she bounces on the white clouds, even though it shouldn't be scientifically possible. (Then again, itisHeaven.) "Ha!" Lady Fate shouts loudly, hiccuping. "Look at ickle little Tsunayoshi, so poor and alone in the world except for his little Eevee." She takes another swig. "Well! That's about to change! His world is going to be so pear-shaped that, that he won't even know what's up or down anymore."
"Lady Fate?" a passerby angel says hesitantly. "Should...should you be doing this to an innocent sixteen-year-old?"
"Pfft," she replies eloquently. "At least he'll have friends, I guess. Crazy ones, but friends."
"And that makes everything better, why?"
"Because friends! Magic, ponies, flames, the Chosen One!"
"What was that last one?"
"Oh, nothing."
