BIL wrote: ↑Thu May 23, 2024 11:03 pmStreetwise
lol AVGN-fodder for a phoned-in episode
So, so many of these awful 2d to 3d games. Splatterhouse, Bubsy, Earthworm Joe, is never ends.
When something like Ninja Gaiden 3d came out and had an audience, that's the out of place abomination.
It wouldn't obsolete the arcade game, or its contemporaries, unless you placed no value in them to begin with. Or regarded them with contempt.
Yeah, lots of people don't care about them. Like our 'ole buddy icy would say, if this isn't the kind of thing you like, you shouldn't be reviewing it. (But with a few slurs and puffing-himself up tossed in.)
The nearest arcades to me when I was growing up were both ~20 minutes away. I lived in the middle of an olive orchard, so there wasn't exactly a city bus to ride. It was a special event that happened a few times a year, where my parents would bring me to the mall and toss five bux my way.
Forget about ever mastering a game, it was enough to get to see and try out whatever looked cool. (Super Mario Vs. looked very uncool indeed. Why is this in the arcade? It was a total mystery to my younger self, ignorant of the console crash and the need to advertise.) Without the internet, it was a magical place full of wonder and possibilities. With technology advancing rapidly, there was almost always something new. I was only a couple degrees removed from that kid in High Score Girl who's a walking video game advertisem*nt.
Digging through heaps of things almost nobody knows or talks about, does tingle that hunter-gatherer bit of my brain.
It wasn't really until MAME and my young adulthood that the ability to seriously practice a game became possible. I owned very very few arcade style games, mostly bulk Sega stuff like Super Thunderblade. Shoot'em ups were relegated to the occasional rental and my copy of Forgotten Worlds. Being exposed to CAVE was like being exposed to cocaine.
So we arrive at a terminally dickless time where "Prepare To Die" is not just an enduringly successful ad campaign, but also a viscerally shocking one. Prepare to decide whether to hit the explosively flammable poison samurai with a +9 flaming sword or a +25 poison hammer. Prepare to decide whether to run around the dragon's side as it puffs up its instakill laser, or stand in front of it holding up your shield like an absolute dipsh*t. Hm. Decisions. Strange, I remember other games where macroing around massive frontal attacks is often a sound tactic. It's almost like we're still sat in front of a flat image operating a controller, no matter how many hotdog eating contests get wedged in.
Wait. Why is it just me and five other dudes who didn't get buttf*cked into next Easter by the samurai and the dragon? I thought everyone loved these games!
It is a bit disappointing how much people hate overcoming failure, despite overcoming failure is the only way to have accomplished anything of value. Ocarina of Time, I died only a few times. Couldn't tell you how to kill any bosses, because I only remember playing tennis with Ganon. Just hit it with whatever item you found in the dungeon, is this your first 3d Zelda game? (Urgh..) While I can remember many troublesome ArKnights enemies and bosses from years ago, because if I did not understand how they worked and what threat they presented, I could not beat the stage.
Maybe it's endemic to how our society looks at things. Yeah, it's another excuse to blame capitalism for a problem in society: we're expected to learn one (1) skill early in life and then we're expected to do that one (1) thing over and over again until we die. And there are tons of people who love living like that. Maybe it makes them feel secure or something, I wouldn't know. OCD makes getting good at something the thing of nightmares - the fun was in learning things and getting good, not in grinding out shekels and dimes while bored out of my mind.
Familiarity is a heuristic for understanding; neurons don't like new things. They want AT-AT's. And Matlock.
But this time as a girl.
They'd make the AT-AT's into girls too, if they could figure out how to.
(I really think some people have really slacked as parents and failed to toss a ball around with their kids a few times every day as their brains were developing. This is the most important part of any mind's development, you can't build out those algorithms when the brain fossilizes later!
Throwing sticks at things is how our species survived, neglecting it is to not be human!)
